y is it dat i still cant get over the fact dat i din manage to get into the same co as maine? it really sucks man, the feeling keep coming back to haunt me... especially when carmen told me she gave up her 1st choice to amelia coz she pleaded wif her not to fight. well, i pleaded wif sw too, to let me be wif maine, but she ignored me...
i noe reality is cruel & ppl r selfish, i tried to convince myself to accept this, but guess maybe my karma level is not high enuff... i can understand y enemies fight wif each other, but i jus couldnt understand y frens fight too? i really envy amelia, coz she has a fren who is willing to give up her choice & chance to her. i tried to convince myself maybe my frenship wif sw is not deep enuff, we r in fact jus acquaintance... but if roles were switched, she has a close fren inside dat co & she really wanted to be wif her, i'm very sure i'll give up dat co to her & choose another one.
guess one hav to undergo the feeling of losing something dat u wanted very much, especially if it's taken away by a fren whom u've pleaded wif... to really understand how terrible i hav been feeling these few days... maybe it's bcoz of my strong desire to be wif maine, plus the fact dat i noe it's my own fault of not copying down the org code dat land me like this & things wld hav been diff if we r not at fal... dat eventually boils down to such a big impact on me... but the fact is no matter how hard i try, it jus keeps coming back to me... i jus cant accept it...